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SEARCH AND REUNION PROGRAM-FAQ'S

Note: The following questions apply to parental placement adoptions in Virginia prior to 7/1/94 and to all closed adoptions in Virginia. In parental placement adoptions where the consent to the adoption was executed on or after 7/1/94, the adult adoptee, the adoptive parent(s) and the birth parent, who consented, may view the entire adoption record with the exception of criminal records checks for the adoptive parents, which show a criminal conviction.
  1. Where are (or who has) my adoption records?
  2. Why does C2 have my adoption record?
  3. May I have my adoption record?
  4. Why can’t I see my whole record with identifying information when it’s about me? It should be mine!
  5. How can I get identifying information?
  6. How do I proceed with a search?
  7. How much will search services cost?
  8. Why should I have to pay for information, which should be mine?
  9. How long will the search take?
  10. What if I want to search but don’t feel ready to take the emotional risk of rejection?
  11. How do I find a support group?
  12. Do you think I should tell my adoptive parents that I have decided to search?
  13. How can I cope with the waiting and prepare myself for the outcome?
  14. As an adoptive parent, what can I do during the search and reunion process to help my child and ensure the stability of our family?
  15. Now that my birth family has been found, how can we make our reunion a positive experience for everyone?
  16. If you find my birth parents and they are deceased, can you tell my siblings about me?
  17. If you find my birth relatives and they say "no" to contact, what happens then?
  18. How will I ever cope with the rejection?
  19. If my adoption was not finalized in Virginia, how do I search?

Where are (or who has) my adoption records?

If your adoption was finalized in the Commonwealth of Virginia, the Virginia Department of Social Services (VDSS) keeps a permanent record of all adoptions finalized in Virginia since July 1, 1942. Call VDSS at 804-726-7523 or 804-726-7526 to inquire about your record. There is also the possibility that your placement agency or designated agency (like C2) may have additional information in their files.
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Why does C2 have my adoption record?

C2 volunteered to take possession of almost 2000 records, which would have been destroyed after seven Virginia adoption programs closed. The programs include but are not limited to the following: Family Services of Tidewater Inc., Florence Crittenden Home, Edgewater Home, Children’s Services Bureau, United Negro Charities, United Charities of Norfolk and Highlands Child and Family Services. By accepting the records, C2 also accepted responsibility for those searches.

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May I have my adoption record?

Adult Adoptee

Unfortunately, not entirely. An adult adoptee can obtain non-identifying information regarding birth parents and him/herself from the adoption record. The adoptee can obtain information about the adoptive parents, if the adoptive parent(s) have signed a release of information form. The adoptee can receive the actual pages of the adoption record with identifying information deleted (either by cutting or blacking out) from the designated agency or from the Virginia Department of Social Services (VDSS). The process takes several months, but is free through VDSS. Designated, private, non-profit agencies charge for the preparation and transfer of non identifying information. The adoptee must appear in person with identification or arrange for a public or private social services agency in their area to receive the non-identifying information.

Birth Parent

Unfortunately, birth parents are not afforded the right to receive written information from the adoption record in Virginia.

Adoptive Parent

Adoptive parents can obtain non-identifying information on behalf of their minor child.

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Why can’t I see my whole record with identifying information when it’s about me? It should be mine!

Currently it is the law in Virginia. Although Coordinators2 supports adoption reform, as a licensed child placing agency, we adhere to the Code of Virginia and the policies of VDSS. The adoptee may want to contact the American Adoption Congress (AAC), which advocates for adoption reform and provides education. AAC can be reached at www.americanadoptioncongress.org or call 202-483-3399 or 302-325-2903.

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How can I get identifying information?

Adoptee

If the birth parent or sibling is found and consents to the release of identifying information, the agency can release that birth parent’s identifying information to the adoptee after receiving approval from Virginia Department of Social Services.

Birth Parent or Birth Sibling

If the adoptive parents are found and inform the adoptee of the search, the adoptee can choose to complete an application for disclosure. The adoptee can then obtain the identifying information. If there is critical medical information, the adult adoptee can be contacted directly and can then complete an application for disclosure.

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How do I proceed with a search?

Adult Adoptee

Complete an Application for Disclosure with the Virginia Department of Social Services. Go to www.dss.state.va.us and click on Forms/Applications for an Application for Disclosure or call 804-726-7529. Once the placing or designated agency receives the record from VDSS, you will contract with that agency to search.

Birth Parent

C2 will write a letter to VDSS agreeing to accept the adoption record. Birth parent contracts with C2 to either
(1) search for the adoptive parents; or (2) search for the adult adoptee, if a critical medical need has been confirmed in writing by a physician. Birth parents have the right to place a letter in their child’s adoption file at the VDSS and at the placing agency.

Adoptive Parent

Adoptive Parents have the right to request that critical medical information be requestedor conveyed to the birth family.

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How much will search services cost?

Effective November 1, 2005 C2 charges the following fees:
(1) $75 for the preparation and transfer of non-identifying information
(2) $500 to search on behalf of an adult adoptee, birth parent or sibling. This fee includes searches for all parties.
(3) $400 renewal fee to continue search services beyond one year.
(4) $100 for intermediary services, if requested by adoptee and birth parent or sibling.
(5) $25 each time adoptee requests the use of Fed Ex to send letters/photos, etc.

Note: Payment for services must be paid prior to the service being provided.

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Why should I have to pay for information, which should be mine?

Unfortunately C2 does not receive funding for search services through the state or any private sources. Expenses incurred during the search process as well as time invested by workers can be significant. C2 is a private non-profit adoption agency and does not profit from search services.

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How long will the search take?

The Virginia Department of Social Services (VDSS) allows an initial period of eight months beginning on the date of the Letter of Appointment. At the end of eight months, the search can be continued with written permission from the adoptee or birth parent and approval from VDSS. Effective November 1, 2005 C2 will provide search services for one year from the receipt of payment. At the end of the year, C2 will recommend whether additional time spent on the search might prove successful and the client can opt to continue the search by paying a renewal fee.

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What if I want to search but don’t feel ready to take the emotional risk of rejection?

1) Request the non-identifying information from your adoption record, which will hopefully aid you in understanding your adoption story and perhaps provide some medical/social family history.

2) Consider a mutual consent reunion registry. These registries are free and voluntary. If your birth relatives have registered, the registry will match your information and connect you.

International Soundex Reunion Registry is often recommended. www.isrr.net or call 775-882-7755

If you were adopted in Virginia, Maryland or Washington, D.C., try the Metro Reunion Registry. www.MetroReunionRegistry.org

3) Educate yourself about the issues of search and reunion. American Adoption Congress (AAC) has an extensive bibliography and organizational links. National Adoption Information Clearinghouse has excellent articles on search issues. http://naic.acf.hhs.gov

4) Join a support group.

5) Consider individual counseling.

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How do I find a support group?

The National Adoption Information Clearinghouse has a wealth of information including support groups. Go to http://naic.acf.hhs.gov and click on General Resources/National Adoption Directory Search/Support Groups. Contact your state or regional director for American Adoption Congress at www.americanadoptioncongress.org

Also try http://www.paadoptionreunionregistry.org/Blue Page.htm

Coordinators2 offers a free monthly support group for triad members.

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Do you think I should tell my adoptive parents that I have decided to search?

It is important for each adoptee to make the decision that is best for him/her. Support groups often encourage adoptees to share with their adoptive families. Advantages in sharing with adoptive parents: They may have additional information about the adoption and information on the birth family. There are many who want to support their child and share the experience throughout the search and reunion process. This shared process can be enriching for all parties and strengthen emotional ties.

Disadvantages: The adoptive parents may feel threatened and oppose searching. The adoptee may be expected to provide support and to reassure their adoptive parents through the process. Some find this may be too much of a burden. Some adoptees choose to tell their adoptive families at a point in the process when they feel strong enough to cope.

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How can I cope with the waiting and prepare myself for the outcome?

EDUCATION AND SUPPORT - Read about others’ experiences. Write a letter to your birth family or journal. Join a search support group or connect with a “buddy” for support. Seek support from your loved ones and help to educate them, so they can share the experience and know how to be supportive throughout the process. Consider working with a counselor, who specializes in search issues.

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As an adoptive parent, what can I do during the search and reunion process to help my child and ensure the stability of our family?

Communicate to your child the belief that curiosity about one’s roots is normal. Communicate unconditional love and support for your child. Provide support but give him/her space! Read about search and reunion and join a support group.

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Now that my birth family has been found, how can we make our reunion a positive experience for everyone?

It is important to have realistic expectations and to be especially patient with the person who was found. Communicate by letter, email or phone gradually before meeting face to face. Communicate honestly but sensitively. Be aware of the stages of reunion and how you experience them. The length of time for each stage varies. Stages of Reunion:
1) honeymoon high - intense feelings, sometimes to the exclusion of others
2) distance/guilt/anger
3) acceptance.

Continue your education and participate in a support group throughout the process. Read Birthbond: Reunions Between Birthparents and Adoptees – What Happens After by Judith Gediman and Linda Brown.

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If you find my birth parents and they are deceased, can you tell my siblings about me?

If the sibling does not know about the adoption, the worker cannot tell him/her. However, often a worker speaks with a sibling while trying to locate the birth parent. This conversation can provide an opportunity for the sibling to indicate that he/she is aware of the adoption and can then be reunited.

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If you find my birth relatives and they say "no" to contact, what happens then?

Sadly, the agency cannot release the identifying information. However, C2 makes every effort to provide intermediary services to the adoptee, birth parent or sibling, which allows the transfer of medical and social history (even letters and photos) without the release of identifying information.

Despite the fact that birth parents sometimes will not consent and will not agree to exchange letters/photos, etc., they will often share updated non-identifying information with the worker. Occasionally they are willing to provide additional information regarding the reason for the adoption decision. All non-identifying information can be conveyed to the adoptee.

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How will I ever cope with the rejection?

Continue participating in a support group. Consider individual counseling with a therapist experienced with adoption search issues and grief/loss. Feel free to contact C2.

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OUT OF STATE

If my adoption was not finalized in Virginia, how do I search?

Contact the adoption unit of your state’s Department of Social Services/Department of Health and Human Resources or whatever they may call it. Contact your adoption placement agency. Contact your state or regional representative for American Adoption Congress (AAC). www.americanadoptioncongress.org. Register on mutual consent registries. Join a support group and read about search experiences. http://naic.acf.hhs.gov.

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